and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
two words...techno handjob
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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