i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow