I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing