that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
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He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
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i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk