Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra