I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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