The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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