we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
