I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
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I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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