i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
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I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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