You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
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I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.