Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.