Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!