that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize