hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
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Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?