The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
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If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry