Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
that's an acceptable place to lick
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart