Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
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you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
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At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.