Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize