I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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