If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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