omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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