the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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