I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.