Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
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I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...