so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...