so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize