who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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