It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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