I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
