i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize