she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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