I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
