So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
