come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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