if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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