this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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