i think my mom watched the whole time
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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