i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
