its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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