I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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