She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize