Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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