I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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