I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
