There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize