How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
