She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
