Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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