you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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