They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
