I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
