Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize