I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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