im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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