You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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