did you get engaged???
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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