i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
