She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
no you cant smoke seaweed
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
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Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.