It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
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Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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